Do you hate being a working mom? You’re not alone. Find encouragement and the freedom to improve your life and family time!

I found myself alone, in a lactation room at work wondering how I could feel like such a failure. I was working my dream job, had married my best friend, and had the most adorable baby that I loved with all my heart and yet I was too busy to enjoy any of it. At work my mind was on home. Would daycare send him home early if his fever came back? Would the other kids be gentle with him? Would the daycare provider be patient with him when he fussed? At home I worried my family would sense they weren’t getting my full attention. Unload the car, make dinner, try to be present for the short time I could enjoy him before bed.

I wanted to enjoy my work like I had before I became a mom, I wanted to be the best mom I could be, but if I was honest what I wanted most was to lay down and cry. I felt like a failure as an employee and a failure as a mother. I hated being a working mom. If you have ever felt this way, you are not alone.

How it began:

Staying home wasn’t an option right after maternity leave but even if it was, I wasn’t sure that was the right path for me at the time. Financially I was making more income than my husband and living in a city with high rent. Daycare prices were insane but it was still more profitable for me to continue working until about 2.5 children. That’s the point we would have been using my entire monthly income to pay for daycare.

I did truly love my job and my coworkers, even on the hard days. I studied hard throughout college and built my resume to get a job I felt was quite prestigious. My career was exactly where I hoped it would lead. Wouldn’t I be wasting my college degree and effort to be “just” a stay at home mom?

When I started to hate being a working mom:

After months of feeling like a failure at both work and home I started to hate being a working mom. I became more and more uneasy with the idea that I was working to pay someone else to spend time with my son when I didn’t even want to be away from him. He was my favorite little person and my most prized possession so why was his care was the first thing I was willing to delegate to someone else?

My husband, thankfully, felt the same way. We prayed and talked and budgeted and prayed and talked and budgeted some more but the best were were able to come up with in that first year was getting me to cut down to 4 days/week instead of 5. That one weekday off with my son became my favorite day. Not only did I get to spend more time with my son, I was able to catch up on laundry, meal plan, and get a midday nap. All of these things made me feel less overwhelmed the rest of the week!

Less work, more mom:

Working 4 days/week made a huge impact on my family and improved the quality of time we spent together. I tasted the freedom and wanted more! My husband thankfully around this time received a promotion at work which is just what we had been praying for. After promotion he was making the same monthly income as me which was just barely enough for us to scrape by financially. We weren’t quite ready to take that risk, though, because we had just found out I was pregnant again!

Instead of quitting all together, I cut down to only 2 days/week at work and we switched my son to a cheaper in-home daycare which was another answered prayer for us as we had found her through church and been desperately looking for a better fit for our son. Through the process of decreasing hours, I became increasingly convinced I was called to be a stay at home mom. Slowly decreasing hours was exactly what I needed. I didn’t hate being a working mom anymore, I was a stay at home mom in transition.

Staying home:

Becoming a stay at home mom is the best thing that has happened to our family but it hasn’t been easy. My job was the only thing tying us to the city with high rent we were living in so we moved to a smaller town with a cheaper cost of living. We budgeted tightly and sold as much as we could on Facebook Marketplace to get extra cash. We cut down on monthly subscriptions and researched ways to save on utilities. Some months have been tighter than others financially but God has always provided.

We are so much happier. When the kids are sick, no more worrying about using up PTO. When the baby is up all night, I can take a nap during the day. I don’t worry about missing my children’s “firsts” because I’m always with them. I no longer feel like I’m too busy to enjoy my life!

There is hope if you hate being a working mom:

If you hate being a working mom or feel like you’re missing out on quality time with your kids there is hope! The absolute best thing you can do is to talk to your spouse about your feelings. See if there is any way you can cut down on spending or increase income to allow you to cut down hours at work or stay home completely if that is your goal.

I’ve created a free budget guide along with conversation starter questions to help you find ways to save money and figure out how to best meet the needs of your family! The budget contains an itemized list of expenditures for you to customize to your own situation. The included questions were designed to help open the door to deeper discussions about needs v. wants and lifestyle choices. It’s a big decision, make sure you’ve seen the whole picture with this free guide. Sign up below!

Whether you determine you are able to decrease hours, stay home completely, or need to continue to work in this season of life know that you are not alone in your desire to be with your babies. You may need to wait a little longer but continue to pray and wait patiently. In the meantime, find ways to decrease stress each night after work to allow you to be more present and engaged with your family during the precious time you’re together.

Are you a working mom looking for ways to spend more quality time with your husband and children? Have you found other like-minded moms around you or family support?