Looking to become a new single income family or already beginning your journey? Here’s what I’ve learned one year in!
In a Nutshell:
A single income family is a family living off of the income from only one adult. In my first year as a homemaker in a single income family, I’ve learned that saving money depends on how you prioritize your needs v. wants. I’ve also learned that mistakes will happen, even with the best laid plans and systems. To be at peace in a single income household, it’s important to give yourself grace as you transition to this new lifestyle.
What is a Single Income Family?
A single income family is a family that lives off of the income from only one adult member of the family. For me, and many other homemakers, that means we survive off of the money that only our husbands bring in.
Lessons Learned as a New Single Income Family
June marks the end of our first year as a single income family. I’ve had a chance, now, to reflect on some of the lessons I’ve learned.
1. More Systems Does Not Equal More Productivity
As a new homemaker, I was convinced that with all my newfound time, I would be able to finally get organized and make systems to make my household run smoothly. I tried cleaning charts, meal plans, and set weekly schedules for playdates and library visits. In the end, I found that forgiving systems can be useful, but rigid systems cause more stress.
When I didn’t get to Aldi on Wednesday for the first day of their sale, I felt like my whole week was out of wack. If I forgot to thaw chicken for a soup, my whole weeks menu was messed up. My systems had good intentions but humans just can’t be systemized. Illnesses, family visits, and other opportunities pop up. Some weeks it’s impossible to have the floors washed by Friday. I’ve learned that that’s okay as long as it gets done eventually!
2. You Won’t Learn it All in the First Year as a New Single Income Family
Becoming a homemaker can be as easy or hard as you want to make it. I dream of being a jack of all trades. I would love to be a woman who can whip up a homemade meal from pantry items on short notice but also have beautiful gardens, a well-kept home, and well-behaved children. The problem for me is that all of that took time. You can’t get out and weed if you’re teaching your children to read. You can’t have a spotless home if you’re counters are all floury from learning to make bread. Each new skill takes time to master. If I were to start over, I’d try to give myself more grace and a slower pace. I think I would try to learn one new skill a month instead of half learning three a day!
3. You’re Going to Make Mistakes
As a new single income family, we were used to spending with a double income budget. Since that was no longer the case it took many months to distinguish wants from needs in our spending habits. Through this process I developed the Free Budget Guide with conversation starter questions. Hopefully this helps you and your spouse dig into those topics sooner than we did!
I’ve also learned to accept that we’re going to make mistakes in saving money too. I’ve messed up my fair share of transactions while learning to coupon and ended up spending more than intended. As embarrassing as it is, I’ve had to go back and return things that put me over budget. I’ve also bought things in bulk because I assumed it was cheaper, only to find that I did my calculations wrong and accidentally overspent. Whether it’s your own poor math skills, getting distracted by the kids, or just forgetting to read the fine print, you’re going to make mistakes. It’s part of the learning process!
4. Everything is a Phase
In the middle of sleep regression, house project, or starting a side hustle for more income, life is chaotic. It feels like everything is going off the rails and maybe you shouldn’t have quit your job after all. As a single income family, this can be especially true because you don’t have outside daycare help while you finish a project or start a side hustle. Thankfully it’s just a phase. You’ll get sleep again, eventually that flooring will get completed, and the side hustle will become routine.
A popular Christian author and speaker, Elisabeth Elliot, is known for saying “do the next thing“. I’ve recently discovered her work and love this quote. It helps in the moments of chaos, and anxiety to remember to just do the next task that needs to be done. I can worry about what I’m going to write next on my blog, or try to decide what color to paint the bathroom, but what I actually need to focus on is feeding the children, doing the dishes, and washing the laundry.
5. You Can’t Always Plan Ahead
Give yourself grace for the times you tried to plan ahead but couldn’t. In our first few months of being a new single income family, I was so dedicated to trying to save money that I’d go to a many different grocery stores many times a week for one-day sale prices. I found, though, that if the kids’ naps interrupted my plans to head out, I’d get frustrated and upset because we wouldn’t be able to save $0.40 on eggs that week. In hindsight, it’s not worth the fuss. Yes, I need to save money as a new single income family, but not at the expense of my relationship to the children.
Another thing that doesn’t always go to plan is family outings. If we’d travel on a weekend, we’d end up stopping at a gas station for snacks or a quick dinner. Apart from being unhealthy, a gas station dinner can also be quite expensive! To combat our gas station spending, I have learned to bring snacks with for long road trips and to pack permanent car snacks for those days we end up being out longer than we planned on!
6. DIY is Almost Always Cheaper for a New Single Income Family
Changing your own oil, baking your own bread, and making your own coffee at home are all ways to stretch your money. I feel like I knew this prior to becoming a new single income family, but I don’t think I realized just how true it was until I started to dig into the cost behind it all. The markup for convenience is high!
Like I’ve already mentioned, being a new single income family can be difficult if you’re coming from a dual income mindset. If you’ve had a dual income like we did, you might have had more money than time and be used to paying for convenience. It till take time to decide what’s worth it to you and what’s important to learn to do yourself.
7. Just Because It’s Cheap, Doesn’t Mean You Need to Do It
Ramen is cheap, but you don’t need to buy it if you’re not going to eat it! Laundry lines bring down electric costs by not running your dryer but you don’ t have to use them if you don’t have time. Being a new single income family is all about deciding what’s worth your time and effort. I’d say I’m still learning this lesson and probably will be until I die!
What lessons have you learned in your single income homemaking journey? Leave me a comment below and we can learn together!
More Resources for Single Income Families:
-Still trying to decide if staying home is the right choice for your family? When it’s Cheaper to be a Stay at Home Mom
-Struggling with your transition to staying home? Revealing the Truth: It’s Okay to “Just” be a SAHM
-Looking for ways to stretch the budget a little further? How to afford to be a SAHM (without marrying rich!)